It’s interesting how the diminishing of food can create clarity.

I was reviewing the English Pratikraman doc and found some really interesting explanations on the results and benefits of fasting or selectively eating. As well as some insight around introspection and purification of the mind and soul.

Friday night, we call my grandmother in India - my father’s mother. She’s 86 and the last surviving grandparent I have. Having lived a very spiritual, moral, and religious life, at times she gets visited by some of our ancestral spirits.

A few days ago was one of those times, she was told that the time has finally come to leave her body - it will happen in a few short months. My dad, who’s proclivities are very similar who received a message that the time is near. After hearing my dadi’s voice, what I got present to was the strength and ease in her voice - that knowing that she will pass around Diwali, her senses were incredibly acute and she’s incredibly peaceful about it.

This is the first time anyone in my family has been engaged in the process of their own death so consciously. Initially, I thought it to be really erie - I’ve never known that death could be like this, y’know? After a few days of processing - I think that the way one dies is truly a testament to the way they’ve lived….my dadi raised 5 boys, took care of her husband for the last 8 years of his life while he was paralyzed from the waist down, with incredible understanding. Ever since one could remember, she’s daily walked 1 km each way to the local mandir. AND she has the next 2 mos. to get every aspect of her life complete so she can leave peacefully…

All this on the first day of Paryushan…makes me think about my own life - all the people I’ve hurt, wronged, or crossed knowingly or unknowingly. Paryushan is a time for completing the past, completing all the muck in our rel’ships - with others and with ourselves, and restoring the love and intimacy in them - by forgiving (ourselves) and seeking forgiveness (from others), we restore our experience of ourselves and the experience of alive shifts….

I’m in the process of making a list of people I know I’ve crossed or thought ill-will of or knowingly or unknowingly with held communication from …

I”ll keep you posted when it’s complete and what arises inside of that…

I have posted here a copy of the comment I would like to respond to here. I am perplexed by a couple of things. Did you mean that self sacrifice brings us closer to GOD or closer “than” GOD?
We can never be closer to GOD since we are GOD. We were made in his image. Pure light…pure love. The choice is ours to make of what has been offered us. The soul is our true being, not this body we use to “experience” this life. The soul is not satisfied when we submit ourselves to self sacrifice and mental anguish. These things are not what GOD wanted for us. Our desires are what cause our suffering. When one does not have desires for “things” which are truly meaningless, there is no suffering. Desire itself creates suffering. GOD really meant for us to feel the beauty of “experiencing” this life as more than just being. We have disappointed our creator, but we are all as He/She/It. So, to be closer in our own heart to our soul or true being is the real goal. I doubt if the creator meant for us to suffer or to deprive ourselves of the basic life sustaining needs while we are here. The gift is the time that has been given us in order for us to “experience” Our souls must be cared for and nurtured in order to have the full “experience”.

It gets tougher and tougher each day doesn’t it? At least for me it does. I’m not disciplined to the level where I can give up late night snacks and its starting to take its toll on me. I feel a little weary, yet when I focus on a particular task I can be a laser beam. I read somewhere in Jain teachings and also heard it echoed in Hindu teachings as well. To paraphrase;

Through the understanding of self-sacrifice and going through the physical and mental misery, it brings us closer than God. We become enlightened…

I hope that everyone is doing well and feeling closer to God. Tomorrow I am going to take try and conquer some of these recipes that have been given to us by the Jain Center of New York.

Someone tell me something. Leave a comment.