Day 5

Amit on September 2007

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Forgiving ourselves.

I can only speak for myself, but I know others also have done things that they are not proud of. Maybe I wasn’t there for a friend when they needed me, or I was responsible for unhappiness of my loved ones and the people I was closest with. These sorts of past actions can leave us feeling ashamed and guilty, and we can end up carrying our guilt for years.
Guilt is one of the most debilitating and negative emotions. But if we want to live happy lives, we need to deal with the consequences of our past actions and not allow our lives to be caught up with guilt.

Feeling guilty IS NOT the same as taking responsibility for our past. Taking responsibility means that we actively address the consequences of our actions in whatever way we can, in particular changing our behavior patterns. Taking responsibility also includes moving on by making peace with the past. Taking responsibility is redeeming and positive.
Forgiving yourself is essential. There is a tendency in all of us to hold ourselves more accountable than we would with others. Perhaps you have been one who can justify forgiving others, even for a heinous offense, yet you find no justification for forgiving yourself for an equal or lesser offense. Perhaps you believe that forgiving yourself is not even a consideration because you think you must hold yourself in a state of constant remembrance, lest you forget. Perhaps you believe there is a price, some form of life-long penance that you must pay.