Day 6 - Essay by Sonam Sheth (CT)

Amit on September 2007

No comments

Atthai

As I concluded the Namokar Mantra, a Jain prayer, the eldest member of our family fed me the first ceremonial drops of Nimbu Pani (lemon water); this was the first time in eight days that I would put something in my mouth besides boiled water. As it slid down my parched throat, my stomach sighed in relief. This feeling of satisfaction was the culmination of a rare feat I had achieved – an eight day fast. I had proven to myself that no obstacle could stand in my way as long as my determination and commitment remained strong.

* * *

Year after year, I have seen other followers of Jainism (a religious philosophy based on non-violence) fast during the religious week of Paryushan. This past summer, I felt that my time had come to take on this endeavor. One of the basic principles for a Jain is to focus on spiritual elevation and transcend material desires. The realization that this fast might help to achieve mastery over my most basic instincts fascinated me and gave me the strength to follow through. Little did I know, I would learn the true meaning of dedication and determination in those eight days. Renouncing food and controlling my mind changed my perception of everyday life. The amount of perseverance and willpower that my fast took was more than I could have ever imagined.

Half way through my fast, my body experienced many changes. My stomach shrank, my breaths were shorter and more frequent, and yet, to my dismay, all my senses became sharper. As I watched television to keep my mind occupied, my fingers mechanically switched to the Food Network again and again. All my eyes noticed was how many glowing, luscious burger commercials were played during an hour long episode. The sizzle of the frying pan while my mother cooked for the rest of the family would call my nose to attention. When I left home in hopes of giving my senses some rest, what was once a single, ordinary Taco Bell in the town of Danbury multiplied into a sanctuary of bliss on every street corner. As I headed back home, even the haunting tune of the ice cream truck would make my mouth water. As temptation tugged at my sense of taste, before sunset each day, I drank two glasses of slightly tart boiled water. Water that would normally make my mouth sour was never tastier than on the eighth day of my fast. Nevertheless, having faith in my religion gave me the confidence needed to conquer my challenge.

Though I had not put a single morsel of food in my mouth, it was in those eight days that I would live, sleep, and breathe food. It was with every alluring commercial that my determination grew stronger, and with every temptation I resisted, my dedication surged. After the fast, I gained a renewed discipline. At an age when most teenagers undergo a right of passage, I chose one that taught me more about myself. The eight-day fast during Paryushan contributed to my own sense of personal fulfillment and internal serenity. The sense of spiritual satisfaction I gained from controlling my mind and appetite was incomparable to any other previous experience in my life. I chose to do something that is not required by my religion but rather allowed me to test my boundaries. This experience taught me that my key to continual growth and maturity is self-exploration.